Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
