if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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