out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
