Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
