i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
