I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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