Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
