my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
