His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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