If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
