I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
