remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize