I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
