last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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