why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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