New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
