I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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