Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
