He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
