is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
