what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
