Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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