My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
