Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
