normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
