You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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