We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
