does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
