as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
