Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
