If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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