I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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