Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
