i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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