also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
