First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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