Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
