Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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