i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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