I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize