i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize