Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
