Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
