Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
