She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize