My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
