Yo dont text me then not text me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
