Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
