with your own penis?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
