i think i have herpe
just one?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize