I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
