I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
