And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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