you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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