hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
