please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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