***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
