it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
