i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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