see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
