I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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