the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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