i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
