I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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