Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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