He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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