Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
