he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
