She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
