you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
