so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
