if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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