Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
