dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
