soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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