how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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