I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Randomize
