butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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