I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
