i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
