I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize