absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize