Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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